AND NEXT, WANDERLUST INSPIRED GATHERING
I love to be in John Friend's presence; truly love it -- so inspiring, so heart-warming, so fun, etc. And, I find I do things in his presence that I can't (or won't) outside of it (i.e. when in his presence, I rarely go to my knees before lowering to chaturanga dandasana; I will always go to my knees with other instructors or when practicing alone). Why, I wonder? Perhaps because, somewhere deep, I want to do my best, impress, or -- I'd rather think -- that this happens because he is just that motivating.
No matter the reason, I know it happens; just not sure of the reason.
So, here comes Wanderlust and THE FIRST formal gathering of Anusara-Inspired™ Yoga Instructors. 3 days filled with practice and study with John in the mornings; afternoons scheduled with other instructors - teachers I have long hoped to study with and who will offer me different paths to understand and embrace theming, therapeutics, philosophy, etc.
I would be lying if I said I was over-the-top excited. I am happy to be going; glad I can participate; I feel it's important to participate. However, excited? Not much. And, as I sit here, I wonder why.
The only reason I can come up with is that, as much as I enjoy any opportunity to study with John, I have become a bit spoiled over the years with opportunities to do that in settings with 60-100 people in attendance. This promises 300, 500, maybe 700 co-participants. Way too many, in my mind. Why? too many opportunities to look at the younger, thinner, more skilled; this will be my anava mala's playground multipled x several hundred.
Perhaps now that I've said it, admitted it, I'll go with a lighter heart. Kind of like when you speak it, it loses it's power. Let's hope that's the truth of the matter.
Tomorrow morning, I'll join friends for the drive north to Lake Tahoe. I am glad for that (had initially thought I'd be driving alone). We'll study, practice, meditate, hang out, for 3 days, then climb in the car for the drive home on Wednesday afternoon.
So, now that I've said it out loud -- at least in 'blog' land, perhaps I will get excited. I am good enough. As a small pin BJ Galvan selected for Martin & Jordan Kirk's Immersion graduates many years ago says: "Accept Your Greatness". I have that pin in a safe spot, a spot that I look at every day. To remind myself, I am great. It's the 'remind' part I need to get rid of (hope that makes sense). I am great.
Hope your Saturday is a 'great' one!