TODAY
Each Saturday morning, I review the schedule of the current Teacher Training for content -- what do I need to review or read or write for the group on any given day. One of today's topics is 'Listening Skills'.
Several years ago (more than 5), I wrote a blog on this topic. I thought, mistakenly -- 'I'll go to my blog and pull up that post, and use it'. Wrong -- My blog used to have a different title and the blog program cannot (or will not) access that 'old' title content. So, I will write it again (everything bears repeating, doesn't it?).
In my previous post, I wrote that, over the years, I've come to look at listening with the attitude encompassed by the three A's of Anusara Yoga - Attitude, Alignment and Action.
FYI, my original post was written not just because I know that listening is a valuable skill for yoga teachers, but because I had experienced once too often being asked "How are you?", only to have the person inquiring look away to his/her next target of inquiry BEFORE hearing my response. That is just rude, in my book!
I considered the skills involved in truly listening and have tried to apply them to my encounters with people. So hear (here) goes:
ATTITUDE - When I have decided to engage with a person or people, I step into the 'listening' space. I make a conscious and concerted effort to think about this person's interests and the value of having someone 'listen' to what you (or I) have to say.
This came acutely to my attention in August of this year, when I was attending Desiree Rumbaugh and Andrew Rivins' "Raising Your Vibration" Intensive. Andrew had us gather into small groups of 3-4 people, and answer a specific list of 3-4 questions. We were instructed to listen, not offer commentary to another person's offering. When we finished, we re-gathered as one large group and he asked how that felt. Overwhelmingly, the comment was made "I felt heard". INTERESTING - and, this from a group of very social yoga teachers and students!
ALIGNMENT - Once the decision has been made to step into the 'listening' space, I 'align'. To me that means - I look the person in the eye and I open my ears to only their voice.
When you read my brief diatribe about 'how are you', you got the gist of 'alignment'. People who ask 'how are you?' perhaps have good intentions, want to be friendly and outgoing, etc., etc., BUT what happened when the question was out there? Eyes begin darting around the room, voices (other than the target's) are in their ears, they allow interruptions, and they may even get a bit 'fidgety' - as though trapped.
A good example is my second encounter with John Friend - my first was a retreat at Inner Harmony, which I had to leave early as a result of a family emergency. I next attended a weekend workshop in Tucson. After the workshop, I went to John to thank him - not just for the workshop, but also for the work he had done to establish a community of caring people (I had received many notes and communications after leaving Inner Harmony from fellow students). During our brief conversation, his eyes stayed on me. Another student came up to talk, interrupting us. He gracefully turned to her and asked her to wait for a few moments as he finished our conversation. John then turned back to me, I finished my words of appreciation - that was alignment, in my book; not to mention attitude.
ACTION - So, we've set our attitude, we are aligned, now for the work of 'listening', the action. I connect through the eyes, I open my ears to only their words, and I close my mouth.
How many times have you begun speaking to have someone say "Oh, that's happened to me and . . .". You haven't finished your statement, you haven't been heard, you've been spoken over by your supposed listener's experience.
SUMMARY - Briefly, to summarize all this, when I decide to 'listen', I:
1) Decide that, no matter what, this person deserves (and wants) to be heard
2) Set my stance and make eye contact (for the duration)
3) I open my ears and I keep my mouth shut
This is not easy - we are living in a fast-paced world. I have places to go, things to do, and - sometimes - it takes some of that time to be kind. I have never regretted taking the time to listen to a student, a friend, and/or a family member.
Have a great day!
Several years ago (more than 5), I wrote a blog on this topic. I thought, mistakenly -- 'I'll go to my blog and pull up that post, and use it'. Wrong -- My blog used to have a different title and the blog program cannot (or will not) access that 'old' title content. So, I will write it again (everything bears repeating, doesn't it?).
In my previous post, I wrote that, over the years, I've come to look at listening with the attitude encompassed by the three A's of Anusara Yoga - Attitude, Alignment and Action.
FYI, my original post was written not just because I know that listening is a valuable skill for yoga teachers, but because I had experienced once too often being asked "How are you?", only to have the person inquiring look away to his/her next target of inquiry BEFORE hearing my response. That is just rude, in my book!
I considered the skills involved in truly listening and have tried to apply them to my encounters with people. So hear (here) goes:
ATTITUDE - When I have decided to engage with a person or people, I step into the 'listening' space. I make a conscious and concerted effort to think about this person's interests and the value of having someone 'listen' to what you (or I) have to say.
This came acutely to my attention in August of this year, when I was attending Desiree Rumbaugh and Andrew Rivins' "Raising Your Vibration" Intensive. Andrew had us gather into small groups of 3-4 people, and answer a specific list of 3-4 questions. We were instructed to listen, not offer commentary to another person's offering. When we finished, we re-gathered as one large group and he asked how that felt. Overwhelmingly, the comment was made "I felt heard". INTERESTING - and, this from a group of very social yoga teachers and students!
ALIGNMENT - Once the decision has been made to step into the 'listening' space, I 'align'. To me that means - I look the person in the eye and I open my ears to only their voice.
When you read my brief diatribe about 'how are you', you got the gist of 'alignment'. People who ask 'how are you?' perhaps have good intentions, want to be friendly and outgoing, etc., etc., BUT what happened when the question was out there? Eyes begin darting around the room, voices (other than the target's) are in their ears, they allow interruptions, and they may even get a bit 'fidgety' - as though trapped.
A good example is my second encounter with John Friend - my first was a retreat at Inner Harmony, which I had to leave early as a result of a family emergency. I next attended a weekend workshop in Tucson. After the workshop, I went to John to thank him - not just for the workshop, but also for the work he had done to establish a community of caring people (I had received many notes and communications after leaving Inner Harmony from fellow students). During our brief conversation, his eyes stayed on me. Another student came up to talk, interrupting us. He gracefully turned to her and asked her to wait for a few moments as he finished our conversation. John then turned back to me, I finished my words of appreciation - that was alignment, in my book; not to mention attitude.
ACTION - So, we've set our attitude, we are aligned, now for the work of 'listening', the action. I connect through the eyes, I open my ears to only their words, and I close my mouth.
How many times have you begun speaking to have someone say "Oh, that's happened to me and . . .". You haven't finished your statement, you haven't been heard, you've been spoken over by your supposed listener's experience.
SUMMARY - Briefly, to summarize all this, when I decide to 'listen', I:
1) Decide that, no matter what, this person deserves (and wants) to be heard
2) Set my stance and make eye contact (for the duration)
3) I open my ears and I keep my mouth shut
This is not easy - we are living in a fast-paced world. I have places to go, things to do, and - sometimes - it takes some of that time to be kind. I have never regretted taking the time to listen to a student, a friend, and/or a family member.
Have a great day!